Friday Fictioneers is hosted by Madison Woods. Every week a prompt photograph is posted and the fictioneers then produce a 100 word story. For more information go to Madison’s webpage at http://madison-woods.com/friday-fictioneers
This is my first solo effort 11 July 2012. Constructive feedback welcome, please comment.
Buzzard
copyright Roxann Phillips (dba Madison Woods)
Tick tock the time took toll
The sun of the afternoon sky fell
Beneath the brow of hill
Flown down with the fire to kill
Empty hunger gripped by desire
Eyes sharpened to points
Talons driven deep to fall
From Hell devour, anoint
With blood the charred ground
Soundless like a dream
Beyond the knoll
No swoop nor murmur
Heartless cruel pursuit of urge
Evolved from randomness
Unblessed un-cursed
A dirge without a tune
Beyond redemption
Dust to dust
Needs must digest
Until the conversion of the dew
And after night set silent moon
Begin again the time to kill
You did an excellent job of conveying ominous evil.
I guess it can seem evil but to me it is just something that is. Like my beautiful dog who eats two or three chicken carcasses a day.
Good job! Some things just are what they are and nature reflects it best, without emotion, the facts of life and death.
It’s true. We are somewhat detached from the process of killing but today I ate lamb and tomorrow my dog will eat ribs.
Very good portrayal of evil…well done! Mine is here http://boomiebol.wordpress.com/2012/07/12/the-new-character-friday-fictioneers-713/
Thank you. Loved yours!
Not only a portrayal of evil but the reason for a buzzard’s existence. Well, done. I’m #14 on the list.
Thank you.
enjoyed it, it has a nice rhythm and rolls off the tongue…
mine is here: http://bwfiction.wordpress.com/2012/07/12/carrion-hope-friday-fictioneers/
Thanks.
Magnificent imagery. Beautiful words describing an ugly subject. Well done!
Mine story is here: http://mezzojan.wordpress.com/2012/07/12/buzzard/
Thanks. I loved your fitst line. Very balanced and poetic. ‘He roosts in a tree that has no leaves, to feed on those who have no life.’
very creepy and dark. I could see the vulture perched, practically speaking the lines 🙂
Now there’s an idea, Carrie. I once played the part of gargoyle who had been usurped by a rook in his quest for the love of an angel. Not quite as brutal as this was but I do like using animal puppets to perform serious drama… practically speaking the lines…hmmmm. Watch this space.
Welcome to the Fictioneers.
http://logo-ligi.com/2012/07/12/soliloquy-of-a-disgruntled-raven/
Thaank you.
I’ve always liked vultures and buzzards. No one else would want to do their job, and what they do is very important to the ecosystem. Your poem reminded me of the reaper, who also gets no respect for a job that must be done. Thanks for joining us!
Thank you to you too Madison for setting up a wonderful process.
I was reminded of Poe…must’ve been the tick tock…
http://writersclubkl.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/friday-fictioneers-the-river/
Hi Raina. Love Edgar Allen Poe… did a performance of his Tell Tale Heart a few times. Must have lodged somewhere in the memory banks.
“Empty hunger gripped by desire” is evocative and chilling. I also like how the cycle repeats at the end, with “Begin again the time to kill.” Eerie and poetic at the same time. Brought images of vampires to mind.
http://ebooksscifi.wordpress.com/2012/07/12/malignant-narcissist-by-ilyan-kei-lavanway-for-madison-woods-friday-fictioneers-100-word-flash-fiction
Thank you. My kids love vampires.Personally I have always been more of a werewolf type myself…
Sinister! Very chilling. I’m only starting to read the stories but I think that there are going to be a few more sinister ones this week. I’m on the list.
i really liked that first line.
Wonderful imagery, counting down time – I don’t find it evil, more predatory. Excellent, well done.
I’m in for the first time too, hope you will visit:
http://wp.me/s1nUrn-buzzard
What all have roles in this world, good and evil, and somebody must bat cleanup. Nicely done.
http://thebradleychronicles.wordpress.com/2012/07/12/flash-fiction-friday-harbinger/#comment-1075
Impressive imagery and take on the prompt. Mine is here and linked as well: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/fridayfictioneers-spectators/
Love the dark imagery and beginning with the sharp alliteration set the tone so nicely! I appreciated the ‘randomness’ of the cruelty, ‘a dirge without a tune’. No reason, it just is.
The words delightfully creepy come to mind. Great job!
http://whimsicalquestsofacuriousmind.blogspot.com/2012/07/friday-fictioneers-7-13-12.html
Dear Sir,
‘Claws’ could be changed to ‘Talons’ but other than that I could find nothing to comment on. A good poem about a stark subject.
Aloha,
Doug
http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/roadkill/
Hi Doug… my wife agreed, so I have changed it to ‘talons’. Thanks!